I’ll Miss You, Lieutenant Columbo (a brief treatise on report writing)

I read today that Peter Falk's daughter has filed a court document seeking approval for conservatorship of her 81-year-old father, who suffers from Alzheimer's disease. The daughter claims her father no longer recognizes people.

Peter Falk is perhaps best known as the Emmy award-winning star of the TV series "Columbo." I was a big fan of "Columbo," and for me it is both sad and ironic that the disheveled, absent-minded detective Lieutenant Columbo, who immediately, instinctively, with few clues, always recognized the evil perpetrator, no longer recognizes anyone at all.

When I taught "Research Methods for Political Scientists" to undergraduates and graduate students in the 1970s, I found myself using what I called the "Columbo Method" to describe one of two ways to approach the research report writing process -- the other being the "Agatha Christie Method." I continue to use this distinction with my colleagues here at The Taylor Group (most of whom weren't even born in the heyday of the great "Columbo" TV series -- and so have no idea, typically, what I'm talking about).

In Agatha Christie murder mysteries, I explain, the audience never finds out "whodunit" until the very end. The viewer is given little clues along the way, building up to the climax where the murderer is finally identified--and all the clues along the way finally come together.

On the contrary, in every episode of "Columbo" the audience knows early on "whodunit," through the wily instincts of old, trench-coated, hunched-over, perpetually perplexed Lieutenant Columbo. And then the rest of the episode is taken up with just how Columbo figured it out so quickly and ultimately nabs the perpetrator.

The research report writing process can follow either the Columbo Method or the Agatha Christie Method. You either build a series of findings toward a grand conclusion for the reader, or you begin the report with the grand conclusion and spend the rest of the time presenting findings that explain to the reader how you got there.

I'll miss you Lieutenant Columbo, but I'll never forget you; and I'll bet from the raised eyebrows and "here-he-goes-again" expressions on my colleagues' faces when I describe the report writing process, neither will they.